I read an article a day or so ago that has really been weighing on me. In fact, it brings to the forefront of my mind something that I think all of us, pro-life or pro-choice, can agree on.
Abortion causes pain.
The article I read (linked above) is about a young woman who, ironically, went out drinking to celebrate the "yes" vote in Ireland that repealed an amendment prohibiting abortion. As a citizen of the UK with many ties to Ireland, this young woman felt that this vote was a "leap towards equality."
As part of the celebrating, she became intoxicated, visited a friend, and they had sex. The condom broke, and she became pregnant.
This, to me, is where the story gets really interesting.
We have a young woman, 30 years old, who has always wanted to be a mother. As she lays on her bathroom floor, overcome with the shock of the pregnancy, she notes that "for the first time, I wasn't truly alone."
I believe that, in that moment, she bonded with her child. She recognized that her baby was a wholly distinct and separate human being. She also writes that she let herself imagine she would keep the baby. That the future felt exciting.
What happened? Why did she have the abortion?
She decided that if she wasn't 100% confident that bringing a child into the world was the "right thing to do" then it wasn't fair to the child. So, she had the abortion.
And, she is suffering because of it.
This young mother (because, she is a mother) bonded with her child, daydreamed about a future with her child, desired her child, and killed her child.
She (in her own words) forced down her instinct to nurture and love her baby and put herself through not just one, but two different abortion procedures. Instead of encouraging her to keep her baby and love her baby, her friends told her that they were "proud" of her for choosing abortion.
This story makes my heart break.
Well, first, because a baby was lost.
Second, and somehow a stronger feeling, a mother who could have been helped was hung out to dry. Society and her surroundings told her that abortion was the "right" choice. Now that she knows it wasn't, it's too late. No matter what happens, no matter how many children she has, no matter how lovely her life becomes, she will never forget this child.
And really, it didn't have to happen. Abortion is never the right answer, but in this case it doesn't even seem to be a logical answer. Her decision to abort seems to come down to two things:
1. She didn't plan the baby
2. She didn't feel emotionally ready to have the baby
Surprisingly, she never brings up the fact that she isn't in a relationship with the father. Other than noting that he was a long-term, casual acquaintance she doesn't bring him up at all. Everything seems to boil down to one fact: she wasn't emotionally ready.
For any young women out there reading this, please understand that nobody is emotionally ready to have a baby. When I work with clients, I tell them this is why God gives us nine months to prepare. He knows that we need time to become accustomed to the idea of parenthood.
Not only does the first pregnancy often feel overwhelming and scary, subsequent pregnancies can feel just as frightening. Babies are challenging, they take time, they take work, and they're expensive. Furthermore, pregnancy hormones are no joke. Expectant moms can feel elated one minute and devastated the next.
Regardless of your position on abortion, you have to understand that abortion causes pain. This young woman went against every instinct she had, and she is suffering for it. At the end of the article she says:
" ...nobody had warned me about the guilt, the anger and the sadness that might follow. Nobody had told me about the crippling fear of never having another chance to be a mum. Nobody had mentioned the resentment I would feel towards others who were pregnant and able to carry their baby to term. The sense of injustice I would feel every time I saw or held a baby during the subsequent weeks. The jealousy of seeing strangers in the street pushing a pram. The longing. The grief. The regret."
"Nobody had mentioned...the jealousy of seeing strangers in the street pushing a pram. The longing. The grief. The regret."
Can we all agree, regardless of our political opinion, that women deserve better than this? That they deserve better than abortion? That they deserve better than a lifetime of guilt and regret?
Maybe when we can come to that point, we can agree that pregnancy help organizations are not only important - they're vital. They make a difference for women like this every day, and if this young woman had found one, it would have made a difference to her.
Pregnancy centers make a difference for women like this every day, and if this young woman had found one, it would have made a difference to her.
I wish this young woman, this young mother, had come to a pregnancy center. I wish she had poured out her heart to a kindly woman about her fears and insecurities. I wish they had showed her the room with the baby clothes, helped her find an OB, and talked to her about how hormones affect expectant mothers.
I wish she had called the dad and told him she was pregnant with his baby. I wish that after she did, he told her he was ready to be there for her, that he always wanted to be a father, and then took her shopping for baby items.
Unfortunately, it's too late for this baby.
But, you know what, there are a lot of young women who are in this situation today, and it isn't too late for them. That's why I do what I do.
I work hard to make sure Alpha Omega Center stays open, friendly, warm, and inviting. I have a awesome staff that creates a phenomenal environment to make sure our clients feel loved and comfortable. I have a Board and several committees full of busy professionals who carve time out of their schedules to make sure they give their best to Alpha Omega Center. Why? Because situations like this break their hearts, too, and they want to do something about it.
This is a card (addressed to one of our staff members) from one of our young clients, one who could have very easily chosen abortion. Pregnancy help made a difference.
So, what are you going to do about it?
Wow, that escalated quickly.
Seriously, though. I am guessing you're against abortion, or you wouldn't be reading this. Maybe you're OK with abortion, but you understand that it's a painful and difficult experience. Perhaps you think in some cases it's OK but in most it's not the preference.
If you feel that way, do something. Give, pray, and/or volunteer. Make a difference.
This mom has already completed her abortion, but there are many young women out there who haven't.
You can be the difference.
Changing Lives Together,
Sarah M. Bowen
While it is too late to save this baby, there are resources available for post-abortive mothers. If that's you, God loves you! He loves you more than I can say, and His heart hurts for you. Turn to Him and seek forgiveness. If you're not sure how to do that, reach out to us here at Alpha Omega Center. Our text/call line is 724-698-2689. We can help, and we will keep your story 100% confidential. If you would rather talk to a different organization check out Rachel's Vineyard. There is hope and healing after abortion.